Dear Ted: I really want to ask out a guy at work, but being in Human Resources….

Posted on 31st July, 2019

Whoever you ask will give different advice. I’ve heard some very strong lines in the past such as “never date someone at work”, through to “sure, shall I have a look at his file for you!”.  


The circumstances do play a part. In a large organisation where you’re in different divisions, it can be similar to working in different companies. Whereas in a small office of ten people. or in the same department of a big division it can be quite awkward. 


So part of the answer will also depend on how maturely the relationship develops, assuming it gets off the ground at all!


The type of business might also impact, and indeed it’s policies. There are some high security places where relationships are banned (although that is difficult to police) for fear of compromise or accidental bedside whispers.


But my view is quite simple; it’s hard enough to find someone you want to date in this world, let alone someone who you might want to become your partner, life is too short (YOLO), so go for it, especially since you said “really”!  


And if you ask him out and all goes well, and there is a potential conflict (eg you’re also his HR person), then tell your line manager straight away ….. it only makes things worse if you delay. People trying to hide office relationships invariably fail, hence the advice to get it out in the open early ….. that way you can be yourself and avoid awkward moments


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